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5 R# M# {. J! ~, _3 rMona Simpson and her fiancé, Richard Appel, 1991
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# c' J8 I! H! ~' g' vJoan Baez/ x+ ~( s: m# O5 y
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In 1982, when he was still working on the Macintosh, Jobs met the famed folksinger Joan
9 q/ n# v7 Y& HBaez through her sister Mimi Fariña, who headed a charity that was trying to get donations
# n" T1 T6 D# {" D7 B! zof computers for prisons. A few weeks later he and Baez had lunch in Cupertino. “I wasn’t$ Y" U9 M/ `( ^1 C
expecting a lot, but she was really smart and funny,” he recalled. At the time, he was
" Q" u& i- T' Qnearing the end of his relationship with Barbara Jasinski. They had vacationed in Hawaii,- q& P8 H: V0 b
shared a house in the Santa Cruz mountains, and even gone to one of Baez’s concerts
! ~; w- ^3 x5 d& ntogether. As his relationship with Jasinski flamed out, Jobs began getting more serious with& Q( d- o% _. M* [4 z
Baez. He was twenty-seven and Baez was forty-one, but for a few years they had a
% D$ s% Y# \9 O+ ^* |" b7 R" |romance. “It turned into a serious relationship between two accidental friends who became
0 ^! x* [. D7 h4 blovers,” Jobs recalled in a somewhat wistful tone.
/ s8 I# V1 f0 H" V9 T& U7 hElizabeth Holmes, Jobs’s friend from Reed College, believed that one of the reasons he: }; }/ ^- w* z/ u# k
went out with Baez—other than the fact that she was beautiful and funny and talented—
! I: x2 G! W4 f/ n4 ^+ Kwas that she had once been the lover of Bob Dylan. “Steve loved that connection to3 A2 s3 w8 A0 b+ p: G
Dylan,” she later said. Baez and Dylan had been lovers in the early 1960s, and they toured
' x: B8 }3 |# T# C- _! `( eas friends after that, including with the Rolling Thunder Revue in 1975. (Jobs had the
, k" ~! T. L8 I: q! Sbootlegs of those concerts.)
5 z3 H+ ^$ o7 q ^" u8 fWhen she met Jobs, Baez had a fourteen-year-old son, Gabriel, from her marriage to the
1 }7 x/ p$ o, p) S7 D( d7 A( ?4 E$ Z, |; Lantiwar activist David Harris. At lunch she told Jobs she was trying to teach Gabe how to+ R9 h2 p7 o4 g# {
type. “You mean on a typewriter?” Jobs asked. When she said yes, he replied, “But a
9 U' ]4 o0 a" Z! {1 k2 o' b5 Ytypewriter is antiquated.”
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“If a typewriter is antiquated, what does that make me?” she asked. There was an
* O; k' T$ y, G/ Jawkward pause. As Baez later told me, “As soon as I said it, I realized the answer was so
3 G# R9 P4 f* F4 \5 ?5 wobvious. The question just hung in the air. I was just horrified.”4 g; V4 k/ @, G& {+ @: w1 E
Much to the astonishment of the Macintosh team, Jobs burst into the office one day with* X. O- g" j( v7 K4 p T; J n) ^
Baez and showed her the prototype of the Macintosh. They were dumbfounded that he
7 ?. i2 y7 }" p7 U3 P5 gwould reveal the computer to an outsider, given his obsession with secrecy, but they were
! a0 \6 ]( I. A3 N. Beven more blown away to be in the presence of Joan Baez. He gave Gabe an Apple II, and" ]$ d3 `/ l6 n4 m1 P' H- \( B
he later gave Baez a Macintosh. On visits Jobs would show off the features he liked. “He7 U' ~( ^: l" A7 }3 P5 ^
was sweet and patient, but he was so advanced in his knowledge that he had trouble: H; j% }6 U' R; x
teaching me,” she recalled.
* |; v9 y- T( N. N9 J: m. P! DHe was a sudden multimillionaire; she was a world-famous celebrity, but sweetly down-
8 m2 X! G; t2 {, ? u9 [to-earth and not all that wealthy. She didn’t know what to make of him then, and still found
: Z+ R2 x! ^* M! ~* C1 e2 g; Shim puzzling when she talked about him almost thirty years later. At one dinner early in4 R. T) }; o+ l! _
their relationship, Jobs started talking about Ralph Lauren and his Polo Shop, which she$ n. ~5 I5 t2 P( g5 C7 H$ h
admitted she had never visited. “There’s a beautiful red dress there that would be perfect7 O0 Q) h6 e5 ]" M; \% Y( Y2 z
for you,” he said, and then drove her to the store in the Stanford Mall. Baez recalled, “I said
( N7 q& V" W4 M8 V4 R% }- Ito myself, far out, terrific, I’m with one of the world’s richest men and he wants me to have/ n: ?! R( g: x4 F6 n8 h8 ?4 ^
this beautiful dress.” When they got to the store, Jobs bought a handful of shirts for himself. y( W4 S* y/ @3 ^
and showed her the red dress. “You ought to buy it,” he said. She was a little surprised, and
5 i0 Q" j( V5 f5 B+ Btold him she couldn’t really afford it. He said nothing, and they left. “Wouldn’t you think if+ [# h8 x5 U7 c$ t
someone had talked like that the whole evening, that they were going to get it for you?” she
7 z! q- d5 y. {; e I% E/ Masked me, seeming genuinely puzzled about the incident. “The mystery of the red dress is! S4 y5 B, | X2 h3 v3 {
in your hands. I felt a bit strange about it.” He would give her computers, but not a dress,+ ^( K6 C" V9 b: |" D s
and when he brought her flowers he made sure to say they were left over from an event in
+ f- x" z4 a. {' X4 x. qthe office. “He was both romantic and afraid to be romantic,” she said.
2 I! I+ Q) {" ~1 R* e. @( YWhen he was working on the NeXT computer, he went to Baez’s house in Woodside to6 F* ]! Y+ e9 p6 s; y
show her how well it could produce music. “He had it play a Brahms quartet, and he told; x) F, y5 Y) j( Y$ M
me eventually computers would sound better than humans playing it, even get the innuendo! i" S0 n! `; U* m# |0 O
and the cadences better,” Baez recalled. She was revolted by the idea. “He was working
0 [+ `5 P F( a7 o3 m" I' shimself up into a fervor of delight while I was shrinking into a rage and thinking, How3 _7 E" G X. |$ `) Q2 X
could you defile music like that?”& ?3 r" O9 f; h% M1 w0 z# E
Jobs would confide in Debi Coleman and Joanna Hoffman about his relationship with+ o# @1 k3 h$ L5 a0 U# z5 O: n* H" n1 O
Baez and worry about whether he could marry someone who had a teenage son and was% k# m& o% Z+ n+ `, c
probably past the point of wanting to have more children. “At times he would belittle her as
o7 D6 @$ M( t. ^" Wbeing an ‘issues’ singer and not a true ‘political’ singer like Dylan,” said Hoffman. “She; J' Y" s/ i4 N( r
was a strong woman, and he wanted to show he was in control. Plus, he always said he
8 w) ?5 d' q) Y) D. ^wanted to have a family, and with her he knew that he wouldn’t.”
0 Q# A; G& {* g9 G1 SAnd so, after about three years, they ended their romance and drifted into becoming just+ S1 u5 z5 [ X+ [
friends. “I thought I was in love with her, but I really just liked her a lot,” he later said. “We
9 B/ e H. \0 sweren’t destined to be together. I wanted kids, and she didn’t want any more.” In her 1989* x/ d. M1 n0 b" W6 y1 _6 N: y
memoir, Baez wrote about her breakup with her husband and why she never remarried: “I
( u; g3 q2 Q" g9 r! Y7 w5 w) K& jbelonged alone, which is how I have been since then, with occasional interruptions that are ' r! T" g1 r2 r. A+ z
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+ z( G4 e& ~9 v& F& j; R: Gmostly picnics.” She did add a nice acknowledgment at the end of the book to “Steve Jobs- T4 G" J& ~! [8 N
for forcing me to use a word processor by putting one in my kitchen.”
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9 U$ d2 }8 Q: b4 a8 }0 H3 I' n ZFinding Joanne and Mona p& P7 {# T/ k( {
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When Jobs was thirty-one, a year after his ouster from Apple, his mother Clara, who was a) h9 R \7 ^1 x; x0 _
smoker, was stricken with lung cancer. He spent time by her deathbed, talking to her in3 _/ X# b7 b! u9 B# d
ways he had rarely done in the past and asking some questions he had refrained from
6 z: j4 [2 o N/ y! p( G4 N1 rraising before. “When you and Dad got married, were you a virgin?” he asked. It was hard+ D# x' ]$ ^. F, t
for her to talk, but she forced a smile. That’s when she told him that she had been married, R5 n& G, o' p4 u
before, to a man who never made it back from the war. She also filled in some of the details
2 f3 S6 j" p& eof how she and Paul Jobs had come to adopt him.
- v- N9 a1 Z) ^5 M( r2 eSoon after that, Jobs succeeded in tracking down the woman who had put him up for8 D7 `' S1 {) g; L
adoption. His quiet quest to find her had begun in the early 1980s, when he hired a
: r7 T: W% l8 ?4 p7 Udetective who had failed to come up with anything. Then Jobs noticed the name of a San
Q8 Z4 a$ M; V! _5 EFrancisco doctor on his birth certificate. “He was in the phone book, so I gave him a call,”: r0 ]) g' ?" x( w
Jobs recalled. The doctor was no help. He claimed that his records had been destroyed in a
. n# s9 z. t3 b1 G4 Gfire. That was not true. In fact, right after Jobs called, the doctor wrote a letter, sealed it in
2 B r% q* M, ]# y gan envelope, and wrote on it, “To be delivered to Steve Jobs on my death.” When he died a# h* w( w3 y/ H# }0 Z
short time later, his widow sent the letter to Jobs. In it, the doctor explained that his mother& S. l6 ~" j! Q0 u4 W
had been an unmarried graduate student from Wisconsin named Joanne Schieble.; m/ Y: F, K) ~+ y% X" @
It took another few weeks and the work of another detective to track her down. After
* O% z. K, l/ J+ {, ggiving him up, Joanne had married his biological father, Abdulfattah “John” Jandali, and
( A( _9 J0 s0 u7 Rthey had another child, Mona. Jandali abandoned them five years later, and Joanne married
3 C7 D. V/ t5 `$ ea colorful ice-skating instructor, George Simpson. That marriage didn’t last long either, and. c2 C- R1 M* v" e* D" S e' R
in 1970 she began a meandering journey that took her and Mona (both of them now using: C! ~6 l% |) R1 T. g
the last name Simpson) to Los Angeles.) U/ k' X' V* D8 j: U
Jobs had been reluctant to let Paul and Clara, whom he considered his real parents, know
1 `& ?; @" N. w5 I' xabout his search for his birth mother. With a sensitivity that was unusual for him, and which
! _! J! ]( l5 _- b' o% Ushowed the deep affection he felt for his parents, he worried that they might be offended.
. {# D+ ?2 ~: t5 Z0 RSo he never contacted Joanne Simpson until after Clara Jobs died in early 1986. “I never
3 a) W, k0 N2 i( N4 D7 zwanted them to feel like I didn’t consider them my parents, because they were totally my
7 |% w& D2 j% b. R' V1 a1 v7 qparents,” he recalled. “I loved them so much that I never wanted them to know of my' G, H" H" _! W0 @& C; i6 \( ~5 i
search, and I even had reporters keep it quiet when any of them found out.” When Clara
( e. q7 a) H, i F& h: Vdied, he decided to tell Paul Jobs, who was perfectly comfortable and said he didn’t mind at
7 \ {: o! }0 |all if Steve made contact with his biological mother.* F! n$ p% v. M; X3 B( ~% F
So one day Jobs called Joanne Simpson, said who he was, and arranged to come down to
% D; \2 b3 u2 ]Los Angeles to meet her. He later claimed it was mainly out of curiosity. “I believe in
; @! \5 H$ |# R7 D) Nenvironment more than heredity in determining your traits, but still you have to wonder a6 m& d5 m' Z" q( `5 ^/ ^
little about your biological roots,” he said. He also wanted to reassure Joanne that what she7 ]. ^5 b; g; K* j3 ?
had done was all right. “I wanted to meet my biological mother mostly to see if she was
; [0 h, j' O: Gokay and to thank her, because I’m glad I didn’t end up as an abortion. She was twenty-, G4 c% J2 Z ~: z" M9 H
three and she went through a lot to have me.”
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) K/ ?8 X/ T* k! |* ~$ R3 TJoanne was overcome with emotion when Jobs arrived at her Los Angeles house. She0 x( `% W. v8 E5 n$ p7 A
knew he was famous and rich, but she wasn’t exactly sure why. She immediately began to# A3 |) }9 |) s! ?- R# u
pour out her emotions. She had been pressured to sign the papers putting him up for
9 }6 d9 p L3 Q+ vadoption, she said, and did so only when told that he was happy in the house of his new4 M# s1 B- J6 Y% | o& H' k' @4 k3 L
parents. She had always missed him and suffered about what she had done. She apologized8 b' T5 a3 J! [
over and over, even as Jobs kept reassuring her that he understood, and that things had
* m7 R7 c( Z9 W- Pturned out just fine.
6 u2 ~' P* T9 d2 ]4 H( hOnce she calmed down, she told Jobs that he had a full sister, Mona Simpson, who was0 M, f; q0 V- ]$ B' o. z) b
then an aspiring novelist in Manhattan. She had never told Mona that she had a brother, and1 w$ {0 U5 b f6 X
that day she broke the news, or at least part of it, by telephone. “You have a brother, and
4 f+ I$ S" o5 \2 N% ^- B, d( v3 r8 nhe’s wonderful, and he’s famous, and I’m going to bring him to New York so you can meet8 Q# F" {: T1 J7 w) [$ j
him,” she said. Mona was in the throes of finishing a novel about her mother and their" h: r( M4 s: t w4 u
peregrination from Wisconsin to Los Angeles, Anywhere but Here. Those who’ve read it
/ p- O0 k; b9 |, J* |will not be surprised that Joanne was somewhat quirky in the way she imparted to Mona
+ h# k7 j2 `- E9 tthe news about her brother. She refused to say who he was—only that he had been poor,
: F" G m) |1 F. U* L* ghad gotten rich, was good-looking and famous, had long dark hair, and lived in California.
' X7 n& p1 O4 e7 n" e4 Q: P, EMona then worked at the Paris Review, George Plimpton’s literary journal housed on the6 i5 r" p! o! B$ q4 x: m
ground floor of his townhouse near Manhattan’s East River. She and her coworkers began a
+ g, E" M6 F# xguessing game on who her brother might be. John Travolta? That was one of the favorite& m& L4 p5 y: m
guesses. Other actors were also hot prospects. At one point someone did toss out a guess8 |- y- M3 c; B3 }4 y2 f
that “maybe it’s one of those guys who started Apple computer,” but no one could recall
0 u E6 S5 d! f% _9 ptheir names.- N1 K2 ^9 T& w( {
The meeting occurred in the lobby of the St. Regis Hotel. “He was totally
, f( f( h& |9 I, _# {straightforward and lovely, just a normal and sweet guy,” Mona recalled. They all sat and3 ~6 c3 f+ \9 u3 [* g1 B9 x
talked for a few minutes, then he took his sister for a long walk, just the two of them. Jobs
) u3 Z# _ K3 k8 T# W6 o6 \was thrilled to find that he had a sibling who was so similar to him. They were both intense
' l2 Q" {; v" V; z0 z3 j7 Tin their artistry, observant of their surroundings, and sensitive yet strong-willed. When they
# U/ K+ o, a; ywent to dinner together, they noticed the same architectural details and talked about them) i8 M$ b/ y* [+ `+ ~2 \
excitedly afterward. “My sister’s a writer!” he exulted to colleagues at Apple when he
& |0 G4 `$ p) j4 U. wfound out.
9 f" f. [/ H! l6 h4 OWhen Plimpton threw a party for Anywhere but Here in late 1986, Jobs flew to New
! m/ j! M7 w5 PYork to accompany Mona to it. They grew increasingly close, though their friendship had, }6 f0 u$ S9 g J+ `* G5 b: S* F
the complexities that might be expected, considering who they were and how they had
" p& M, E3 ^2 ^$ c9 T m4 ucome together. “Mona was not completely thrilled at first to have me in her life and have7 A+ ^- A% m8 C) H$ d* S
her mother so emotionally affectionate toward me,” he later said. “As we got to know each; `# \* O, E% U5 z( o, C$ x
other, we became really good friends, and she is my family. I don’t know what I’d do; ^, p, N9 [! g5 Z j) v2 \/ y
without her. I can’t imagine a better sister. My adopted sister, Patty, and I were never
( V, j% S4 Q$ o/ _close.” Mona likewise developed a deep affection for him, and at times could be very
$ H' e) F- n- c9 c. O2 L6 iprotective, although she would later write an edgy novel about him, A Regular Guy, that
4 {0 n, ]* H6 ?' U$ R( Vdescribed his quirks with discomforting accuracy.
& z+ @0 D4 V$ s# E- y6 MOne of the few things they would argue about was her clothes. She dressed like a
3 y, |! V' T9 Dstruggling novelist, and he would berate her for not wearing clothes that were “fetching
' B7 E. w' m K0 Y( J" Zenough.” At one point his comments so annoyed her that she wrote him a letter: “I am a
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5 Z" l1 v! Q. g% X U2 p. Dyoung writer, and this is my life, and I’m not trying to be a model anyway.” He didn’t J3 \# q' `& q9 @
answer. But shortly after, a box arrived from the store of Issey Miyake, the Japanese
- D9 `9 O3 d2 |, @fashion designer whose stark and technology-influenced style made him one of Jobs’s
" R0 \' N3 n" k6 r/ afavorites. “He’d gone shopping for me,” she later said, “and he’d picked out great things,
" s+ \3 _+ O5 u: h: N5 ^, dexactly my size, in flattering colors.” There was one pantsuit that he had particularly liked,
`6 D- ^ Z; o3 A+ Y2 gand the shipment included three of them, all identical. “I still remember those first suits I
! E: Q- v4 b3 Xsent Mona,” he said. “They were linen pants and tops in a pale grayish green that looked/ Q' y! }3 K. j
beautiful with her reddish hair.”; ?$ c6 r& ?8 q1 _5 r
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The Lost Father
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In the meantime, Mona Simpson had been trying to track down their father, who had# I D( L; p* }* ~8 r
wandered off when she was five. Through Ken Auletta and Nick Pileggi, prominent% D: I: y2 j# D, q' u/ S6 a- R# I
Manhattan writers, she was introduced to a retired New York cop who had formed his own
; q! H X8 N0 m# Tdetective agency. “I paid him what little money I had,” Simpson recalled, but the search; o [& n4 L9 {% p1 X5 V
was unsuccessful. Then she met another private eye in California, who was able to find an2 _. v2 _( \' z) J
address for Abdulfattah Jandali in Sacramento through a Department of Motor Vehicles
$ t _6 p& F1 ~9 \search. Simpson told her brother and flew out from New York to see the man who was
8 p6 V8 W0 h- ^. f4 W; T) x+ rapparently their father.
/ C1 C: c3 {5 K* D% _$ s* jJobs had no interest in meeting him. “He didn’t treat me well,” he later explained. “I; w$ D) k3 h: i9 y9 z* d
don’t hold anything against him—I’m happy to be alive. But what bothers me most is that: J" Z1 T5 P; p5 \, X8 D
he didn’t treat Mona well. He abandoned her.” Jobs himself had abandoned his own
4 c+ x( o# Q# D6 N4 billegitimate daughter, Lisa, and now was trying to restore their relationship, but that
0 k! v) q( F* B, e' Ycomplexity did not soften his feelings toward Jandali. Simpson went to Sacramento alone.
3 f6 N! Q& b* s: }$ `: v1 H“It was very intense,” Simpson recalled. She found her father working in a small
& N+ K" t) p {7 mrestaurant. He seemed happy to see her, yet oddly passive about the entire situation. They
4 o4 r7 l- N/ z- w- l3 C& ?( ~talked for a few hours, and he recounted that, after he left Wisconsin, he had drifted away
H$ V# z! K0 k; O ofrom teaching and gotten into the restaurant business.% D/ F- i: Y- j) w+ H
Jobs had asked Simpson not to mention him, so she didn’t. But at one point her father" y1 u" h0 w( }4 I& i9 V
casually remarked that he and her mother had had another baby, a boy, before she had been7 }! z5 M3 p& n, A
born. “What happened to him?” she asked. He replied, “We’ll never see that baby again.
# I( N1 n; u GThat baby’s gone.” Simpson recoiled but said nothing.5 i. [; w$ D* S B$ J4 h
An even more astonishing revelation occurred when Jandali was describing the previous, h, u/ R1 p7 }; [4 j. I
restaurants that he had run. There had been some nice ones, he insisted, fancier than the( j' n2 R! n1 p; p" t& e
Sacramento joint they were then sitting in. He told her, somewhat emotionally, that he0 l: h% T: E5 ?/ @
wished she could have seen him when he was managing a Mediterranean restaurant north
3 L6 f3 @. X) x0 [: R i; }7 F$ iof San Jose. “That was a wonderful place,” he said. “All of the successful technology1 `. L; w7 b) W% s
people used to come there. Even Steve Jobs.” Simpson was stunned. “Oh, yeah, he used to$ K7 j ^1 d0 q, j$ O
come in, and he was a sweet guy, and a big tipper,” her father added. Mona was able to) j5 {0 c7 L% U( g# I
refrain from blurting out, Steve Jobs is your son!- k& {" T) {# g, l, `
When the visit was over, she called Jobs surreptitiously from the pay phone at the
* s% B6 W* T/ W+ l% j- n$ [restaurant and arranged to meet him at the Espresso Roma café in Berkeley. Adding to the
/ z# t6 h/ d. U7 Q& T, a5 Fpersonal and family drama, he brought along Lisa, now in grade school, who lived with her
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1 e2 {$ d; G; u$ Amother, Chrisann. When they all arrived at the café, it was close to 10 p.m., and Simpson; S: t" z, U3 {: k+ [; X9 ~& ^
poured forth the tale. Jobs was understandably astonished when she mentioned the' p1 t; U5 L, v7 ~* {6 N0 E! Z
restaurant near San Jose. He could recall being there and even meeting the man who was
9 n3 \, s' p; G; T8 R/ Q! mhis biological father. “It was amazing,” he later said of the revelation. “I had been to that) B ^3 X9 A; ?3 K
restaurant a few times, and I remember meeting the owner. He was Syrian. Balding. We8 P4 ?* `/ }4 b7 c E9 x# I5 u
shook hands.”0 b8 r) b% L. `
Nevertheless Jobs still had no desire to see him. “I was a wealthy man by then, and I
% Q7 M4 h G$ K9 fdidn’t trust him not to try to blackmail me or go to the press about it,” he recalled. “I asked
3 O& k# B. v, a4 o4 {Mona not to tell him about me.”! O0 i1 U0 }; Y( Z% A
She never did, but years later Jandali saw his relationship to Jobs mentioned online. (A
3 b( \. m) G! U* g0 q Zblogger noticed that Simpson had listed Jandali as her father in a reference book and
. _# h5 U6 ]' c5 j- @& h$ Rfigured out he must be Jobs’s father as well.) By then Jandali was married for a fourth time
+ P$ {" s" G" T! c4 y' ]3 rand working as a food and beverage manager at the Boomtown Resort and Casino just west4 r. v2 e$ {0 p) K% d' k2 V
of Reno, Nevada. When he brought his new wife, Roscille, to visit Simpson in 2006, he
, i f# Z( }& \raised the topic. “What is this thing about Steve Jobs?” he asked. She confirmed the story,
( Z1 j J9 `) R3 p8 U- [: ~but added that she thought Jobs had no interest in meeting him. Jandali seemed to accept
2 E0 ?& A+ v! t2 {that. “My father is thoughtful and a beautiful storyteller, but he is very, very passive,”
1 V" U. |4 \- WSimpson said. “He never contacted Steve.”
1 Y' B! T) Q( a5 Q+ [0 TSimpson turned her search for Jandali into a basis for her second novel, The Lost Father,4 y5 N8 E; _# `5 y5 K- G6 {1 F
published in 1992. (Jobs convinced Paul Rand, the designer who did the NeXT logo, to
. ^- _1 |/ q( T2 k# hdesign the cover, but according to Simpson, “It was God-awful and we never used it.”) She
x) W$ ~( U. D/ a- Q- d# g( ~# Xalso tracked down various members of the Jandali family, in Homs and in America, and in
2 M4 K4 G/ W4 _; Z2011 was writing a novel about her Syrian roots. The Syrian ambassador in Washington9 c2 l/ g. a3 n6 w9 O; c* J( o
threw a dinner for her that included a cousin and his wife who then lived in Florida and had# c8 ^$ Z- y) [: b8 Y
flown up for the occasion.* |9 c$ J' N2 n2 U; s9 f6 R' S
Simpson assumed that Jobs would eventually meet Jandali, but as time went on he
/ j2 Q/ K7 Q! ^showed even less interest. In 2010, when Jobs and his son, Reed, went to a birthday dinner
4 o9 h! i* @7 d% d2 H# Mfor Simpson at her Los Angeles house, Reed spent some time looking at pictures of his
8 p! K9 @5 m" J- }1 S! Y! ibiological grandfather, but Jobs ignored them. Nor did he seem to care about his Syrian; z+ Z! \) r, U. I9 ^- I% |/ n5 q
heritage. When the Middle East would come up in conversation, the topic did not engage$ r3 f: E; N6 j [/ p6 Z
him or evoke his typical strong opinions, even after Syria was swept up in the 2011 Arab3 ]$ T) ]$ s! j/ w2 M# o6 d9 u
Spring uprisings. “I don’t think anybody really knows what we should be doing over3 j) c; N& U Y& G
there,” he said when I asked whether the Obama administration should be intervening more, w/ H9 T' _$ ]7 n9 q; f; C
in Egypt, Libya, and Syria. “You’re fucked if you do and you’re fucked if you don’t.”
, s' \0 M- C' L" q7 b8 j' mJobs did retain a friendly relationship with his biological mother, Joanne Simpson. Over" p# \% o$ j2 q3 E0 O9 D
the years she and Mona would often spend Christmas at Jobs’s house. The visits could be
& ~3 B3 g4 m7 dsweet, but also emotionally draining. Joanne would sometimes break into tears, say how
" g: Z, b3 H& Qmuch she had loved him, and apologize for giving him up. It turned out all right, Jobs
4 x) e- V6 U& v! K H, _would reassure her. As he told her one Christmas, “Don’t worry. I had a great childhood. I
) k6 l) d" W. o/ s# mturned out okay.”
6 y1 U& _) m, W, v9 q S, ]9 F! @1 H7 q. m# l
Lisa , R0 Q9 Z7 w6 }8 h
+ p. W& F+ Q) W J+ ] f0 A" ]- _0 v/ h$ f6 q& e+ {
3 _( F$ Z G b% O0 ]
# v" N4 ]$ j3 [3 q+ L" o$ _, r# m2 C0 P: x6 x$ B7 l; x
" e% y: O3 m0 F9 ~* x; a7 p3 M* ], x& Y- X% L5 F5 ]& }/ O- w5 _
( k8 {. Q+ }$ b4 {
: ^" j; [8 f( I
Lisa Brennan, however, did not have a great childhood. When she was young, her father
. y/ g2 k, m( ^" H h$ Galmost never came to see her. “I didn’t want to be a father, so I wasn’t,” Jobs later said,
1 ^( A! u8 |( C; p+ A& kwith only a touch of remorse in his voice. Yet occasionally he felt the tug. One day, when
( D Q# |/ \. i1 Q( y7 VLisa was three, Jobs was driving near the house he had bought for her and Chrisann, and he
' V7 H1 C1 z" \$ Q$ d/ F& qdecided to stop. Lisa didn’t know who he was. He sat on the doorstep, not venturing inside,
7 A/ H Y! z0 e6 R) r4 |& r# b! kand talked to Chrisann. The scene was repeated once or twice a year. Jobs would come by
2 c7 O6 i; v* `0 C3 F1 Punannounced, talk a little bit about Lisa’s school options or other issues, then drive off in& _" o' l! _! L }9 G1 r/ e# P
his Mercedes.% g7 i _* S+ R }( r" }5 q
But by the time Lisa turned eight, in 1986, the visits were occurring more frequently.# `" P% w/ C9 `( f( J0 S2 ]. O
Jobs was no longer immersed in the grueling push to create the Macintosh or in the
& b z% Q, ]/ h0 d8 T! ^- Nsubsequent power struggles with Sculley. He was at NeXT, which was calmer, friendlier,
; s& \" J0 d, ^ Y7 J! iand headquartered in Palo Alto, near where Chrisann and Lisa lived. In addition, by the
$ E* g% M4 D; \$ \time she was in third grade, it was clear that Lisa was a smart and artistic kid, who had
5 z7 h; n, `) Xalready been singled out by her teachers for her writing ability. She was spunky and high-
' n2 Z: d3 m8 q& zspirited and had a little of her father’s defiant attitude. She also looked a bit like him, with
, Q0 T2 h+ t! }$ W# d" a% rarched eyebrows and a faintly Middle Eastern angularity. One day, to the surprise of his" A: U" ]$ V, e. c) ?2 {4 f
colleagues, he brought her by the office. As she turned cartwheels in the corridor, she' V, g" _5 }8 }
squealed, “Look at me!”& n }. _0 ]9 H9 R. H
Avie Tevanian, a lanky and gregarious engineer at NeXT who had become Jobs’s friend,: g9 N# T* @, j3 M5 D$ L
remembers that every now and then, when they were going out to dinner, they would stop
) E, Y9 h4 `/ w8 V, o: qby Chrisann’s house to pick up Lisa. “He was very sweet to her,” Tevanian recalled. “He
) S% P- J( H0 x7 e. R. o# }8 Y. Jwas a vegetarian, and so was Chrisann, but she wasn’t. He was fine with that. He suggested, i. X8 e' h- o: \$ I
she order chicken, and she did.”9 ]) V {* H; H( \0 B$ d
Eating chicken became her little indulgence as she shuttled between two parents who# t/ S6 N* f# D, }9 s9 B6 ?7 k
were vegetarians with a spiritual regard for natural foods. “We bought our groceries—our- g# \/ t( [, X$ I) a
puntarella, quinoa, celeriac, carob-covered nuts—in yeasty-smelling stores where the7 A F8 N5 m* W( ~$ a% y) p7 C
women didn’t dye their hair,” she later wrote about her time with her mother. “But we5 ^/ @) Y5 {4 w, K4 Z
sometimes tasted foreign treats. A few times we bought a hot, seasoned chicken from a
+ b/ j% ]: Q( ]. a( B% Ngourmet shop with rows and rows of chickens turning on spits, and ate it in the car from the
9 X0 D# ~3 j# j% @9 q% F, dfoil-lined paper bag with our fingers.” Her father, whose dietary fixations came in fanatic
% ~# ?" B7 ^* Z4 i; Ewaves, was more fastidious about what he ate. She watched him spit out a mouthful of soup1 m* Z* ]& ?6 Z" Z( b
one day after learning that it contained butter. After loosening up a bit while at Apple, he& X/ s; n$ [- V9 g8 z
was back to being a strict vegan. Even at a young age Lisa began to realize his diet, v' M2 Y- n$ ]* M" a$ J
obsessions reflected a life philosophy, one in which asceticism and minimalism could" c1 a* f' C& T6 G- a- y
heighten subsequent sensations. “He believed that great harvests came from arid sources,
9 ?3 Y. q$ d9 ~ {9 hpleasure from restraint,” she noted. “He knew the equations that most people didn’t know:2 }# T. z: P$ g; K/ D9 r( f8 i
Things led to their opposites.”- w2 s5 D$ {8 N7 l0 |& u7 Z
In a similar way, the absence and coldness of her father made his occasional moments of0 ? s# c; J/ T
warmth so much more intensely gratifying. “I didn’t live with him, but he would stop by
8 u$ y, C) G* ?2 d ]7 ^' Hour house some days, a deity among us for a few tingling moments or hours,” she recalled.
9 o) X% W; C9 @7 ]* } p: }Lisa soon became interesting enough that he would take walks with her. He would also go0 {" U9 f. ?5 R1 ~! h
rollerblading with her on the quiet streets of old Palo Alto, often stopping at the houses of
0 b' W7 `& p# _- p: q5 r# xJoanna Hoffman and Andy Hertzfeld. The first time he brought her around to see Hoffman,
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& w" F' i5 G7 A, ^5 _ n( z! ^1 m K4 B$ T) n( ^
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l8 Q: y5 ^9 f Q- X" f, s
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he just knocked on the door and announced, “This is Lisa.” Hoffman knew right away. “It
* d d) i9 P& v! t* wwas obvious she was his daughter,” she told me. “Nobody has that jaw. It’s a signature
7 b. _1 I" l5 O# S* R) S5 Wjaw.” Hoffman, who suffered from not knowing her own divorced father until she was ten,: Q4 @1 ^3 i) h0 A) R
encouraged Jobs to be a better father. He followed her advice, and later thanked her for it.
+ |6 ]+ x8 I% e. xOnce he took Lisa on a business trip to Tokyo, and they stayed at the sleek and
1 n3 f" V$ Z6 Dbusinesslike Okura Hotel. At the elegant downstairs sushi bar, Jobs ordered large trays of
g1 [% S8 r4 { bunagi sushi, a dish he loved so much that he allowed the warm cooked eel to pass muster as
* _2 w; j a- D f0 J9 Ovegetarian. The pieces were coated with fine salt or a thin sweet sauce, and Lisa5 ]) {8 J; B5 |) Z; x( n6 v' r* U% D
remembered later how they dissolved in her mouth. So, too, did the distance between them.3 F* Y( I8 u- P0 K+ X
As she later wrote, “It was the first time I’d felt, with him, so relaxed and content, over+ I, W8 K0 w' p2 t, l+ l
those trays of meat; the excess, the permission and warmth after the cold salads, meant a* V C- R- E5 ?3 b$ ^9 z7 }% {" v# U
once inaccessible space had opened. He was less rigid with himself, even human under the
0 j# j3 U4 F- v9 K2 q9 ygreat ceilings with the little chairs, with the meat, and me.”
' _# r0 N: V/ R% ~1 y- OBut it was not always sweetness and light. Jobs was as mercurial with Lisa as he was
, [; u' Q+ M* C- N$ }" x* Q. }with almost everyone, cycling between embrace and abandonment. On one visit he would/ h6 |$ i9 ^$ U
be playful; on the next he would be cold; often he was not there at all. “She was always" b' f: n; p: }0 Q9 x2 H
unsure of their relationship,” according to Hertzfeld. “I went to a birthday party of hers,
7 p1 F; _8 l# x& P; G3 s' o4 f8 rand Steve was supposed to come, and he was very, very, late. She got extremely anxious
. K5 d, W; y8 X5 z# Yand disappointed. But when he finally did come, she totally lit up.”
8 h6 ~* b% V, X" A$ JLisa learned to be temperamental in return. Over the years their relationship would be a
3 }4 }6 b4 s1 Z# ] troller coaster, with each of the low points elongated by their shared stubbornness. After a
: @1 v) I# N% a- t$ h4 A: \# e3 hfalling-out, they could go for months not speaking to each other. Neither one was good at2 T$ L4 V7 X) A `9 Z
reaching out, apologizing, or making the effort to heal, even when he was wrestling with
0 D5 T' i- c* d- f/ X' \repeated health problems. One day in the fall of 2010 he was wistfully going through a box5 C+ g$ l \' E6 D
of old snapshots with me, and paused over one that showed him visiting Lisa when she was2 \' z. |7 V( I& e+ p
young. “I probably didn’t go over there enough,” he said. Since he had not spoken to her all/ b% G" f+ _. k
that year, I asked if he might want to reach out to her with a call or email. He looked at me
& Z8 A6 f$ p. _1 H9 l0 b7 a2 ablankly for a moment, then went back to riffling through other old photographs.
N! v# v: w# y( Z; \' | G% G) p! V' C; M" B; {1 g6 ]0 K% |! U% T
The Romantic; D8 U" j' ~( S% J5 u; a" L/ ]
, H- _/ X9 G* s6 Q7 T6 n6 U" b
When it came to women, Jobs could be deeply romantic. He tended to fall in love
3 f1 @( v& R) h. adramatically, share with friends every up and down of a relationship, and pine in public
( z( W8 ^* j# Y- c" @/ X; }: Swhenever he was away from his current girlfriend. In the summer of 1983 he went to a
. C+ z0 I6 l! asmall dinner party in Silicon Valley with Joan Baez and sat next to an undergraduate at the
, F/ F4 a: H- T- O% G8 IUniversity of Pennsylvania named Jennifer Egan, who was not quite sure who he was. By9 B* ^) c2 i: j4 y+ L& m' ~% f( B
then he and Baez had realized that they weren’t destined to be forever young together, and* O& ]! A- e) V; }% u0 h% ]& D
Jobs found himself fascinated by Egan, who was working on a San Francisco weekly
4 j+ |* q8 F1 x% ]% j( Sduring her summer vacation. He tracked her down, gave her a call, and took her to Café
+ @6 P% y6 s, D! P, v& A& ZJacqueline, a little bistro near Telegraph Hill that specialized in vegetarian soufflés.' b3 p4 u8 t# P2 l$ n+ E
They dated for a year, and Jobs often flew east to visit her. At a Boston Macworld event,, k7 |) V6 E! i1 K% h
he told a large gathering how much in love he was and thus needed to rush out to catch a3 a- ]( d( h! \# z; s) F
plane for Philadelphia to see his girlfriend. The audience was enchanted. When he was
, C& t' q+ [- F/ v. J2 C
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! f3 p! {3 e8 U( z
m7 Q7 C2 A, M! w' [. d* }! S# k" o8 w
% s' Q- h( C: S/ Yvisiting New York, she would take the train up to stay with him at the Carlyle or at Jay
6 y2 Q8 x$ F$ k9 h7 G+ |* XChiat’s Upper East Side apartment, and they would eat at Café Luxembourg, visit
; j( R. _& i, [' \ E( Y0 C(repeatedly) the apartment in the San Remo he was planning to remodel, and go to movies3 S. E+ Q1 t$ q& {; A" |, d
or (once at least) the opera.( J H$ i3 R+ w% v; g
He and Egan also spoke for hours on the phone many nights. One topic they wrestled
C( g+ z- T) k# Gwith was his belief, which came from his Buddhist studies, that it was important to avoid( b% ?$ H! [! O. g5 ^* S/ P
attachment to material objects. Our consumer desires are unhealthy, he told her, and to' h9 }5 s' |; e# E+ E
attain enlightenment you need to develop a life of nonattachment and non-materialism. He/ ?) e5 W/ L- |7 B5 I1 \; B8 |
even sent her a tape of Kobun Chino, his Zen teacher, lecturing about the problems caused
& y& ], C; L; e. H; w4 ]- Bby craving and obtaining things. Egan pushed back. Wasn’t he defying that philosophy, she6 \' E+ x( W* k
asked, by making computers and other products that people coveted? “He was irritated by
1 k2 F, w( \: L* F m* `2 ithe dichotomy, and we had exuberant debates about it,” Egan recalled.; u- N( x# f4 y8 Q" F- {7 ^- s- K! Q
In the end Jobs’s pride in the objects he made overcame his sensibility that people should
; K% `+ a: F2 k# x, N8 Veschew being attached to such possessions. When the Macintosh came out in January 1984,
3 @& L1 ^6 S% E, W* WEgan was staying at her mother’s apartment in San Francisco during her winter break from
+ v7 ^' I. K9 H/ [/ BPenn. Her mother’s dinner guests were astonished one night when Steve Jobs—suddenly2 F" u9 p! Y7 c( I
very famous—appeared at the door carrying a freshly boxed Macintosh and proceeded to
; e8 u5 n- }5 e, F. V3 q2 E6 IEgan’s bedroom to set it up.2 @$ l5 d4 u$ N }& r
Jobs told Egan, as he had a few other friends, about his premonition that he would not
, e& ]1 s4 @1 @live a long life. That was why he was driven and impatient, he confided. “He felt a sense of
+ C8 T6 V$ I# R- |7 q8 b. Hurgency about all he wanted to get done,” Egan later said. Their relationship tapered off by% I* V( D* W% |! X+ W. {3 g
the fall of 1984, when Egan made it clear that she was still far too young to think of getting; P! k! n$ e8 L6 A0 W! k5 ~
married.
& J) n z% n6 l) ~6 N; q. d5 _6 s# f7 Y" u9 D: H. C& x
Shortly after that, just as the turmoil with Sculley was beginning to build at Apple in early8 c6 q1 u3 K+ J
1985, Jobs was heading to a meeting when he stopped at the office of a guy who was
* h* s$ V, F$ K3 u. ^, C2 Bworking with the Apple Foundation, which helped get computers to nonprofit
% j/ W2 ]0 i" e* v1 B4 zorganizations. Sitting in his office was a lithe, very blond woman who combined a hippie
% R0 }0 [6 Z7 f% V& kaura of natural purity with the solid sensibilities of a computer consultant. Her name was' ~6 V! u+ X, h, j+ i$ U t$ a
Tina Redse. “She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen,” Jobs recalled.
% t. e, K9 Y7 S% }+ Q: x- w2 yHe called her the next day and asked her to dinner. She said no, that she was living with
& d+ [. W1 m) l7 fa boyfriend. A few days later he took her on a walk to a nearby park and again asked her! E# `/ R# H- o- U, I. G+ N8 M
out, and this time she told her boyfriend that she wanted to go. She was very honest and5 f; F2 B4 c9 w* m, O
open. After dinner she started to cry because she knew her life was about to be disrupted.
0 O# c8 p, {5 ^+ A8 ` R- l+ G2 ^And it was. Within a few months she had moved into the unfurnished mansion in
; i2 [# D7 b$ T# V6 I9 Y8 AWoodside. “She was the first person I was truly in love with,” Jobs later said. “We had a
5 {4 T8 q2 b9 @ Z. p+ k, A8 o1 J {very deep connection. I don’t know that anyone will ever understand me better than she
4 |% Q4 U" w% r& u7 kdid.”$ w+ j9 E$ ^: k# w( F3 M2 ~
Redse came from a troubled family, and Jobs shared with her his own pain about being. x7 z9 X# @* [
put up for adoption. “We were both wounded from our childhood,” Redse recalled. “He) X; y' I6 _# }9 r$ B1 @ r
said to me that we were misfits, which is why we belonged together.” They were physically
6 ~: j5 w. d% @( B! {* ypassionate and prone to public displays of affection; their make-out sessions in the NeXT
3 Q) k, V! q3 \: \lobby are well remembered by employees. So too were their fights, which occurred at
2 v# M6 j7 U7 \+ `9 A4 k: t$ ?8 [/ Q) @: ^ O* \9 H
2 t; f+ g. O' O9 h
$ a/ n, ?5 U4 M) x: @9 \& R
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1 [' d4 h" v' b/ m# R6 E
movie theaters and in front of visitors to Woodside. Yet he constantly praised her purity and, X4 m. Y0 d5 _2 ^5 I
naturalness. As the well-grounded Joanna Hoffman pointed out when discussing Jobs’s
5 o/ Q- E4 H# t. C oinfatuation with the otherworldly Redse, “Steve had a tendency to look at vulnerabilities
" a' G$ \( S! _8 Fand neuroses and turn them into spiritual attributes.”
+ @" [: _, T9 y6 W) uWhen he was being eased out at Apple in 1985, Redse traveled with him in Europe,' y* x' _* k3 f) }8 [
where he was salving his wounds. Standing on a bridge over the Seine one evening, they
4 f6 x% b2 a& H) z- wbandied about the idea, more romantic than serious, of just staying in France, maybe
' ^6 H u& N; N+ ^7 N1 Osettling down, perhaps indefinitely. Redse was eager, but Jobs didn’t want to. He was3 n; @- D n8 \/ H; C& F2 o9 x
burned but still ambitious. “I am a reflection of what I do,” he told her. She recalled their; c2 e a7 i: d" o" \ h, y
Paris moment in a poignant email she sent to him twenty-five years later, after they had
5 _% X9 z ~ x1 f qgone their separate ways but retained their spiritual connection:
' j. v0 `4 e: n5 m) cWe were on a bridge in Paris in the summer of 1985. It was overcast. We leaned against
4 W: Q# [/ L. E2 H; J. n: jthe smooth stone rail and stared at the green water rolling on below. Your world had" v( V% t- }8 h. y6 S2 x
cleaved and then it paused, waiting to rearrange itself around whatever you chose next. I
+ u' A* R. ~+ K, Zwanted to run away from what had come before. I tried to convince you to begin a new life* t6 R* T! N' e! [
with me in Paris, to shed our former selves and let something else course through us. I( [* z1 a R9 i! U$ d
wanted us to crawl through that black chasm of your broken world and emerge, anonymous
& I* t$ [0 s& W4 _and new, in simple lives where I could cook you simple dinners and we could be together
$ _: G/ c/ Q( r, [) a7 uevery day, like children playing a sweet game with no purpose save the game itself. I like to- e( n: [- p, q2 c7 u& m$ Y6 {
think you considered it before you laughed and said “What could I do? I’ve made myself* n! r# \/ n7 F" l& E
unemployable.” I like to think that in that moment’s hesitation before our bold futures% d+ U$ u" T' [7 `+ Z
reclaimed us, we lived that simple life together all the way into our peaceful old ages, with
8 T3 Y# M" E6 e# oa brood of grandchildren around us on a farm in the south of France, quietly going about# f6 g) V R) t* e
our days, warm and complete like loaves of fresh bread, our small world filled with the
, o2 b+ b9 q6 f& o) x3 P$ Naroma of patience and familiarity.
+ y4 c5 f8 I2 B% w# Y! X$ @& f. o! r3 J$ E) U' h6 u, t
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The relationship lurched up and down for five years. Redse hated living in his sparsely* a7 u4 Z c j0 X
furnished Woodside house. Jobs had hired a hip young couple, who had once worked at4 t0 w. x0 {" W5 ]/ \
Chez Panisse, as housekeepers and vegetarian cooks, and they made her feel like an6 p3 B0 f/ t, D! V! i8 H4 r
interloper. She would occasionally move out to an apartment of her own in Palo Alto,- h1 u0 s5 M1 [3 b. U; Z
especially after one of her torrential arguments with Jobs. “Neglect is a form of abuse,” she/ d; u: e, l9 e+ H& c- O
once scrawled on the wall of the hallway to their bedroom. She was entranced by him, but
/ y9 `3 x6 l, ~/ Oshe was also baffled by how uncaring he could be. She would later recall how incredibly- |( i) D( I+ v% V( l
painful it was to be in love with someone so self-centered. Caring deeply about someone
$ p2 c5 E% G( Z# [who seemed incapable of caring was a particular kind of hell that she wouldn’t wish on4 B, ?+ O8 ]) ?! U* y
anyone, she said." Z& o- h: Z. k$ O
They were different in so many ways. “On the spectrum of cruel to kind, they are close
' A+ I+ A6 x7 u+ r( y/ uto the opposite poles,” Hertzfeld later said. Redse’s kindness was manifest in ways large
; G9 W/ T4 O" B4 rand small; she always gave money to street people, she volunteered to help those who (like
: W7 M2 P6 b; K. t/ G, u- l: vher father) were afflicted with mental illness, and she took care to make Lisa and even
8 |$ R$ Y. H9 x8 q; D% FChrisann feel comfortable with her. More than anyone, she helped persuade Jobs to spend% W* c! G, C" U- ~% n- A( y
more time with Lisa. But she lacked Jobs’s ambition and drive. The ethereal quality that
8 Z% E( Z& d2 Z) Z
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' }5 r* l& I+ A2 W, Jmade her seem so spiritual to Jobs also made it hard for them to stay on the same2 G, _6 k( Q6 ]# x' V* @3 d/ y
wavelength. “Their relationship was incredibly tempestuous,” said Hertzfeld. “Because of
8 `+ J) b+ t2 }! F5 ~1 g6 G Dboth of their characters, they would have lots and lots of fights.”
6 X) o4 [. |; O& E: gThey also had a basic philosophical difference about whether aesthetic tastes were: g' o2 |2 _" u1 m: R
fundamentally individual, as Redse believed, or universal and could be taught, as Jobs
; ?: ?2 ^/ P4 Gbelieved. She accused him of being too influenced by the Bauhaus movement. “Steve, X% F" A3 i6 E" h! Y+ U; j' {, D
believed it was our job to teach people aesthetics, to teach people what they should like,”
' g% [. B+ `) s7 K' Lshe recalled. “I don’t share that perspective. I believe when we listen deeply, both within
) S7 n4 b* z! Vourselves and to each other, we are able to allow what’s innate and true to emerge.”
; _' m9 k* B, a# l* n$ OWhen they were together for a long stretch, things did not work out well. But when they E; f( h* |# u# b
were apart, Jobs would pine for her. Finally, in the summer of 1989, he asked her to marry" F" H, K. a) k* ?" H% i, p
him. She couldn’t do it. It would drive her crazy, she told friends. She had grown up in a
7 e* _4 o. ^- Q7 S3 {* yvolatile household, and her relationship with Jobs bore too many similarities to that/ w* m0 I# o: p$ H6 ~; y& g
environment. They were opposites who attracted, she said, but the combination was too: z2 B' P }3 Q3 G5 r2 A
combustible. “I could not have been a good wife to ‘Steve Jobs,’ the icon,” she later; a) y% e1 r" @, ?
explained. “I would have sucked at it on many levels. In our personal interactions, I, X( m0 b( \# e6 f; Q+ I* r
couldn’t abide his unkindness. I didn’t want to hurt him, yet I didn’t want to stand by and' A: j/ w9 V$ L$ Y9 N/ \
watch him hurt other people either. It was painful and exhausting.”! N" Y; i0 h( H; l! k, ?
After they broke up, Redse helped found OpenMind, a mental health resource network in
2 d% y P i# n) `. M1 i) @California. She happened to read in a psychiatric manual about Narcissistic Personality
- ?0 x# Z* ~% v" c. J7 DDisorder and decided that Jobs perfectly met the criteria. “It fits so well and explained so
! \, [$ {5 m bmuch of what we had struggled with, that I realized expecting him to be nicer or less self-
; p+ [$ D0 s6 W: v, u+ ~7 Z3 I/ W9 Ucentered was like expecting a blind man to see,” she said. “It also explained some of the
1 f* c2 y1 Q: e+ ychoices he’d made about his daughter Lisa at that time. I think the issue is empathy—the
: Q1 z, ]* D: X5 i' Tcapacity for empathy is lacking.”
% a2 w3 j! f- ~. \* DRedse later married, had two children, and then divorced. Every now and then Jobs
; i' S9 \3 }3 h) Fwould openly pine for her, even after he was happily married. And when he began his battle8 v1 w! a( I9 W3 u
with cancer, she got in touch again to give support. She became very emotional whenever
# u5 H7 [9 |! ^. l/ ^* @9 k# N5 f) jshe recalled their relationship. “Though our values clashed and made it impossible for us to
5 L9 ~0 G0 B) S, S6 e( k7 chave the relationship we once hoped for,” she told me, “the care and love I felt for him
% d9 R5 z* K9 g Xdecades ago has continued.” Similarly, Jobs suddenly started to cry one afternoon as he sat4 Q ~0 P( g1 K9 {
in his living room reminiscing about her. “She was one of the purest people I’ve ever, Z( C+ \7 L3 E1 g' e
known,” he said, tears rolling down his cheeks. “There was something spiritual about her
8 J2 K9 S5 b6 \and spiritual about the connection we had.” He said he always regretted that they could not- r. b$ `( Y! n$ x
make it work, and he knew that she had such regrets as well. But it was not meant to be. On7 p3 M( x6 H" b/ l
that they both agreed.6 x% ^7 S4 @$ q. ~
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CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
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9 [- i2 y& L, ]# NFAMILY MAN
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- @) E; K) `4 u( A% z& r! ?At Home with the Jobs Clan: X; n; @; f3 ?; ~( g: j
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With Laurene Powell, 1991
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Laurene Powell
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By this point, based on his dating history, a matchmaker could have put together a
. N6 w& a8 O- `8 r7 kcomposite sketch of the woman who would be right for Jobs. Smart, yet unpretentious.( x" N/ o J1 ~7 j' T+ \
Tough enough to stand up to him, yet Zen-like enough to rise above turmoil. Well-educated
6 d& ]+ `2 S9 S9 nand independent, yet ready to make accommodations for him and a family. Down-to-earth,
( G1 R' w" Y2 q3 T0 X# Gbut with a touch of the ethereal. Savvy enough to know how to manage him, but secure
! ~& i. c& |: m4 ]* K) ~enough to not always need to. And it wouldn’t hurt to be a beautiful, lanky blonde with an
& P, y+ k! R2 o0 m: Oeasygoing sense of humor who liked organic vegetarian food. In October 1989, after his. U' [! W7 E8 z' c% f
split with Tina Redse, just such a woman walked into his life.$ b# j* e6 ^/ C( a! w! g
More specifically, just such a woman walked into his classroom. Jobs had agreed to give% y- h0 N7 u* a
one of the “View from the Top” lectures at the Stanford Business School one Thursday
- M/ @2 e4 I( \# D6 `6 }evening. Laurene Powell was a new graduate student at the business school, and a guy in
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her class talked her into going to the lecture. They arrived late and all the seats were taken,4 S% b; X) J0 S- g" @
so they sat in the aisle. When an usher told them they had to move, Powell took her friend
) M& C% ]" Z+ L3 T9 Adown to the front row and commandeered two of the reserved seats there. Jobs was led to! A2 M) L$ W4 h+ o' H" r8 X
the one next to her when he arrived. “I looked to my right, and there was a beautiful girl
+ J7 m; f" d8 J# Vthere, so we started chatting while I was waiting to be introduced,” Jobs recalled. They; S$ O; Q7 l: ]1 b5 q
bantered a bit, and Laurene joked that she was sitting there because she had won a raffle,
$ a+ c3 ?; A, t1 ]+ i# }6 Gand the prize was that he got to take her to dinner. “He was so adorable,” she later said.
; B8 s* v2 r9 v* g5 r7 HAfter the speech Jobs hung around on the edge of the stage chatting with students. He
) e: `* _2 [5 n) gwatched Powell leave, then come back and stand at the edge of the crowd, then leave again.
( C5 Q+ h2 [0 }9 W5 T7 S. j, _He bolted out after her, brushing past the dean, who was trying to grab him for a
% A$ ^) `# B* E( ?conversation. After catching up with her in the parking lot, he said, “Excuse me, wasn’t" x0 n* s2 I, h- [" r$ K, {& u0 \. X
there something about a raffle you won, that I’m supposed to take you to dinner?” She
& p X0 j5 ?6 ^* h' k; l3 [laughed. “How about Saturday?” he asked. She agreed and wrote down her number. Jobs6 p) p3 @1 Z) {2 l6 X: c- n
headed to his car to drive up to the Thomas Fogarty winery in the Santa Cruz mountains
) \8 F- Z. E# v: ?/ T' Uabove Woodside, where the NeXT education sales group was holding a dinner. But he
- i' ~2 p6 C$ c; Esuddenly stopped and turned around. “I thought, wow, I’d rather have dinner with her than
, o9 n) ^" P3 N d- othe education group, so I ran back to her car and said ‘How about dinner tonight?’” She5 Q" h8 ] D' Z; C$ G) e Y) b
said yes. It was a beautiful fall evening, and they walked into Palo Alto to a funky1 V/ B n. f( f9 L
vegetarian restaurant, St. Michael’s Alley, and ended up staying there for four hours.
% `/ C1 j, _% p“We’ve been together ever since,” he said.
7 G# x! j- ~9 I8 s2 ?/ k8 KAvie Tevanian was sitting at the winery restaurant waiting with the rest of the NeXT. p1 y$ c# f1 B
education group. “Steve was sometimes unreliable, but when I talked to him I realized that" n* f: [- y& @5 b7 F0 k
something special had come up,” he said. As soon as Powell got home, after midnight, she3 Q% n" n# U: ~- G' J+ i
called her close friend Kathryn (Kat) Smith, who was at Berkeley, and left a message on
: {- P `$ `" P: R0 O/ cher machine. “You will not believe what just happened to me!” it said. “You will not- D- a/ d5 T0 Z1 V
believe who I met!” Smith called back the next morning and heard the tale. “We had known* R8 Y# k E" }/ |
about Steve, and he was a person of interest to us, because we were business students,” she
; e/ A8 A4 t& p9 k: Q3 z3 r0 Jrecalled./ ]; W# w/ J' p. j3 t3 i! d
Andy Hertzfeld and a few others later speculated that Powell had been scheming to meet
/ a+ y: J- K) }1 ?: mJobs. “Laurene is nice, but she can be calculating, and I think she targeted him from the
7 x) j3 U, J/ Nbeginning,” Hertzfeld said. “Her college roommate told me that Laurene had magazine
# P# A9 w' {/ T- r- J, icovers of Steve and vowed she was going to meet him. If it’s true that Steve was
; _' W! { J' y/ u# }% n8 Q& j9 nmanipulated, there is a fair amount of irony there.” But Powell later insisted that this wasn’t5 ?+ Z3 j) l5 Z z7 a' ~9 \) B) b
the case. She went only because her friend wanted to go, and she was slightly confused as
! W: }4 l" D: U( ]3 i k% J1 O( gto who they were going to see. “I knew that Steve Jobs was the speaker, but the face I
x3 ]8 d4 X- i' S6 u. V3 mthought of was that of Bill Gates,” she recalled. “I had them mixed up. This was 1989. He3 S) U3 Z2 w; Y4 P6 g
was working at NeXT, and he was not that big of a deal to me. I wasn’t that enthused, but2 J7 a/ Q& P( M+ B9 t* l* ]% u
my friend was, so we went.”
& x; R, q% ~0 e% n2 C) X3 T“There were only two women in my life that I was truly in love with, Tina and Laurene,”
8 e8 y2 c t$ Z: TJobs later said. “I thought I was in love with Joan Baez, but I really just liked her a lot. It) E) G+ X, H6 ^ S9 f2 F2 o; `9 m
was just Tina and then Laurene.”
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Laurene Powell had been born in New Jersey in 1963 and learned to be self-sufficient at an" S, }5 n3 a4 o" j' c6 ? L
early age. Her father was a Marine Corps pilot who died a hero in a crash in Santa Ana,
8 t3 W8 R7 `" H: K! UCalifornia; he had been leading a crippled plane in for a landing, and when it hit his plane
! K$ W; M5 ?0 L; The kept flying to avoid a residential area rather than ejecting in time to save his life. Her
3 z5 m! c1 X0 R* p/ Omother’s second marriage turned out to be a horrible situation, but she felt she couldn’t
: @+ I9 P( j0 U( x7 U3 W) f3 ]! `- kleave because she had no means to support her large family. For ten years Laurene and her
6 w% |$ T" l* E( [three brothers had to suffer in a tense household, keeping a good demeanor while3 l( m3 L" @- Y
compartmentalizing problems. She did well. “The lesson I learned was clear, that I always
0 n, s3 }3 r2 R; {wanted to be self-sufficient,” she said. “I took pride in that. My relationship with money is5 R: }! m; k2 X! `8 A& C
that it’s a tool to be self-sufficient, but it’s not something that is part of who I am.”; A. r6 k2 D( s$ d$ u, i
After graduating from the University of Pennsylvania, she worked at Goldman Sachs as+ v( E, K3 M1 W9 \
a fixed income trading strategist, dealing with enormous sums of money that she traded for% H! u7 n2 `6 q/ V( i" o1 `
the house account. Jon Corzine, her boss, tried to get her to stay at Goldman, but instead
, M3 H l- ?+ \: c( J+ @8 vshe decided the work was unedifying. “You could be really successful,” she said, “but6 c" j/ u# y( n( i, t
you’re just contributing to capital formation.” So after three years she quit and went to
8 x# ~5 `5 J6 u( d1 l/ xFlorence, Italy, living there for eight months before enrolling in Stanford Business School.2 n; O+ D+ N3 y2 ?9 B. l
After their Thursday night dinner, she invited Jobs over to her Palo Alto apartment on
6 v* P* ]# F. K( J. ?. _; x1 l3 aSaturday. Kat Smith drove down from Berkeley and pretended to be her roommate so she
8 j: P2 W, Z+ }: v5 U. _# Mcould meet him as well. Their relationship became very passionate. “They would kiss and- d1 a9 @9 `% b' D( c: N9 E
make out,” Smith said. “He was enraptured with her. He would call me on the phone and
6 c$ Y0 C+ O; c2 B% z3 f6 Dask, ‘What do you think, does she like me?’ Here I am in this bizarre position of having this) }4 @9 i* m) F. k4 X
iconic person call me.”. K4 r* e$ C' a' y( x
That New Year’s Eve of 1989 the three went to Chez Panisse, the famed Alice Waters
- s$ _ H x+ xrestaurant in Berkeley, along with Lisa, then eleven. Something happened at the dinner that
$ v5 I9 f- V2 _2 U' N& @caused Jobs and Powell to start arguing. They left separately, and Powell ended up1 [5 s4 R1 M# W/ i/ \
spending the night at Kat Smith’s apartment. At nine the next morning there was a knock at, O# [+ b3 E, o" M! k) {2 F. g
the door, and Smith opened it to find Jobs, standing in the drizzle holding some
6 p4 n- k3 K7 c8 ewildflowers he had picked. “May I come in and see Laurene?” he said. She was still asleep,
, ^( ^: h2 P* v" i' r9 x% Eand he walked into the bedroom. A couple of hours went by, while Smith waited in the0 U, p4 X& Z2 E* h* n2 Y
living room, unable to go in and get her clothes. Finally, she put a coat on over her }6 X0 K( g: q$ g4 R& o* Y
nightgown and went to Peet’s Coffee to pick up some food. Jobs did not emerge until after
# T4 v) T: |4 v! G+ d# ]noon. “Kat, can you come here for a minute?” he asked. They all gathered in the bedroom.( X: i# b% B1 m+ r0 p U
“As you know, Laurene’s father passed away, and Laurene’s mother isn’t here, and since
" r8 V& s- ]5 v8 L- n2 P& H) d2 Myou’re her best friend, I’m going to ask you the question,” he said. “I’d like to marry
& I: B i. ]( ]$ mLaurene. Will you give your blessing?”2 ]' N' j0 Q9 [9 J, ]0 ?7 @) l
Smith clambered onto the bed and thought about it. “Is this okay with you?” she asked6 u+ f2 v8 j2 ?- c2 t e
Powell. When she nodded yes, Smith announced, “Well, there’s your answer.”" y( h+ V2 f1 A; a" S' ^1 q
It was not, however, a definitive answer. Jobs had a way of focusing on something with
" ~% ?+ B; F& Y7 D+ Y; Xinsane intensity for a while and then, abruptly, turning away his gaze. At work, he would
( z+ b2 r [0 o0 K6 rfocus on what he wanted to, when he wanted to, and on other matters he would be: m0 [3 `( P0 C' |% S: \( _
unresponsive, no matter how hard people tried to get him to engage. In his personal life, he4 e9 p1 v0 y6 I0 e7 o% {
was the same way. At times he and Powell would indulge in public displays of affection
l0 K9 p3 Z8 _: Dthat were so intense they embarrassed everyone in their presence, including Kat Smith and ( k- k! q6 ]* T# [. v, n! l F
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Powell’s mother. In the mornings at his Woodside mansion, he would wake Powell up by: [7 ^; ^9 h8 i1 P
blasting the Fine Young Cannibals’ “She Drives Me Crazy” on his tape deck. Yet at other
+ S [, u# k5 U& S. y# \3 K( c" Btimes he would ignore her. “Steve would fluctuate between intense focus, where she was" m1 X) _& k& H) ^9 U7 j4 u
the center of the universe, to being coldly distant and focused on work,” said Smith. “He M+ g5 w- N6 ~8 R
had the power to focus like a laser beam, and when it came across you, you basked in the
) e1 a; e9 V2 x1 A# l+ K k0 zlight of his attention. When it moved to another point of focus, it was very, very dark for
( L5 t) W2 h1 pyou. It was very confusing to Laurene.”4 _ h0 U$ Z6 x2 e) S/ w- Z) u1 b
Once she had accepted his marriage proposal on the first day of 1990, he didn’t mention/ _/ ]/ p% G; L9 J4 Z6 \) j+ `
it again for several months. Finally, Smith confronted him while they were sitting on the
$ h* C$ ^6 c! }5 Q$ ?edge of a sandbox in Palo Alto. What was going on? Jobs replied that he needed to feel sure" K1 e4 P( P) L2 h
that Powell could handle the life he lived and the type of person he was. In September she
, G! J' F. C+ D4 Obecame fed up with waiting and moved out. The following month, he gave her a diamond
* Z7 {# w7 M3 B$ Z* Nengagement ring, and she moved back in.% q1 Y" w# [, h! a
In December Jobs took Powell to his favorite vacation spot, Kona Village in Hawaii. He
0 k* i0 s: V" y( Chad started going there nine years earlier when, stressed out at Apple, he had asked his4 R2 i% T3 y" l* \' q
assistant to pick out a place for him to escape. At first glance, he didn’t like the cluster of
" d; p1 [" ?1 Q" rsparse thatched-roof bungalows nestled on a beach on the big island of Hawaii. It was a( K- j) O0 v) h, }( r4 E
family resort, with communal eating. But within hours he had begun to view it as paradise.
# T" a5 B8 r' L; k* g0 u# @: v6 jThere was a simplicity and spare beauty that moved him, and he returned whenever he
) E& E1 s! ^6 V6 S+ S% lcould. He especially enjoyed being there that December with Powell. Their love had0 ^( d# [# \6 P7 C6 |; d! k
matured. The night before Christmas he again declared, even more formally, that he wanted+ n& k2 T* r$ S5 q( B
to marry her. Soon another factor would drive that decision. While in Hawaii, Powell got
$ P) V& `/ v9 s9 N$ G" t& L5 s$ }pregnant. “We know exactly where it happened,” Jobs later said with a laugh.& I; B$ b/ c, J) }
7 P1 m+ S8 t- B2 v0 z$ M# RThe Wedding, March 18, 1991
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